Ties To Cold Mornings Passed
My cheeks are red.
Breath smokes, before
fog announced warmth
pulsing through clear glass
leaves the cover of room.
Your frayed tie billows
across filtered air when
blue and red fumes
announce school stripes’
childish prowess.
You, a young imminent
man shows his spots, not
blemish, but relic.
A spurt of joy shines
to stain figments,
handprints across my flesh
not stone. And the green
rhoadie’s leaves tip
folded against frost.
Leaves leaving cold behind.
* * *
This strange poem comes from four influences: Juliet’s clothing prompt at Read Write Poem, a poem from Diatribal Arts last week, my blog-mate Whirling Dervish’s challenge to me to use “squirt of joy” in a poem this week and her collaboration offering of “frayed tie” as the piece of clothing I could write about.
I overreached, but had fun. Go see more at Read Write Poem.
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Very interesting. You did well with all.
I like the last stanza.
I like the last stanza a lot too. The whoe poem is intriguing, excellent
Yeah, I think you rose to the challenge well. Stay with it!
Hmm. Well, I think there’s a poem in it, in fact I think there’s two or three, but it’s a bit of a seven-wheeled car at the moment :-)
I love the ambiguities of “Leaves leaving cold behind.”
Gautami, CGP and STG, thanks for stopping by. I like the last stanza best, too. When writing th epoem, it started out first.
Dale, I think it is a car with 7 wheels. Excellent way to describe it!
I’ll parse it out sometime and see if one of the poems would be interesting to work on.
Thanks everyone.
Phew! I thought at first I just wasn’t paying attention. I got so lost trying to meld the vivid images together. There is so much in here! Reminds me of dreaming!
Thanks Dale,
I thought I was just too simple to get it. I have ideas but none of them of fully formed.
Deb,
My long time writing mentor and a few new ones like SB at watermark often tell me to flesh a piece out. It’s ironic, because I’m normally long-winded with everything else.
Fascinating bit of verse. Some very engaging images throughout.
So unoriginal of me to love the last stanza, too–but my favorite part was “the green/rhoadie’s leaves tip/folded against frost.” I could see them, just like that.
Oh, by the way: I gave you the “Excellent Blogger” award, and linked to you on my own humble blog: http://chicklegirl.blogspot.com/2008/02/excellent-dude.html
Great last stanza, deb! I love the language you’ve used here.