Last rites
Your fingers compress my breastbone
between marked flesh and languish.
Stop the wastefulness in my regions.
“I long to comply.”
To travel.
Harmony of forgetfulness.
To linger?
What was purposed, pushes
for meandering, wearing a disguise
at the end of the dry season.
Camouflage: You didn’t want
to remain but disappeared.
Another blunt remorse
you’ll end with flattery:
“Your inconsequential love,
abandoned.”
* * *
My poem was a version of Annamari’s, one she stripped to the bone last week and offered up to Read Write Poemers. Thanks, Annamari. I took a few liberties, and hope you don’t mind. Yours is below, as you left it.
Your fingers ___my ____
between ____ and _____
stop the _____ in the ___
“I ____ to _____”
To _____,
harmony
of ____.
To ____?
was ____
for the ______
wearing a _________
at the _____ of the season.
_________:
You wish not
to ____
but ____.
Another ______
you will end
with ____:
“Thy ______ Love,
_______.”
Related posts:
I like the questioning tone. Great way to end it!
http://firmlyrooted.blogspot.com/2008/08/paring-it-all-down-to-basics.html
BTW, I like your new place too!
“Stop the wastefulness…” is a great line. I like the sense of movement here, “travel,” “meandering,” “disappeared,” “abandoned.” A pleasure to read.
I do not mind it -I love it.
I like that the form and rythm of it reminds of a river’s flow…
Plus I do feel flattered that someone found my skeleton inspiring and gave it a new beauty. Thanks.
This poem gets in my bones, one I can return to and read again and again. The language is elevated, yet it slowly gets under the skin, down to the bones. I really like this piece, deb.
And I enjoyed the process too. It’s eye-opening to travel in another writer’s carriage of words.
Yeah, I like the “Stop the wastefulness” line a lot, too. Well done..
The opening stanza is my favorite.