I have had a crappy week.
I still have a job, a husband, a home and family. But all have been tested this week. My grandmother in Texas is dying. My mother is damn close to dying, and we have a complicated mother-daughter relationship that I keep hoping I can come to peace with, before she dies. Its touch and go – both she and the relationship. It could be weeks, it could be years, and it is hard. Even one of my pets is terminal: I hydrate Louis every other day to keep the effects of kidney disease at bay and him comfortable.
My two best friends in Portland have recently, or will soon, lose mothers to heart disease or old-age. My heart breaks for them.
I’m not getting along so well with my husband. Sigh. Deep. Heavy. Sigh.
And I have more-than-strained relationship with another associate, a writer-friend, which has depressed the hell out of me this week.
I have cried more the last few days than I have in a long while. And tonight I cried again, but for reasons of beauty and hope.
I watched Bill Moyers’ Journal and his segment on Mark Johnson. Moyers showed Johnson’s film, made over a space of 10-years, with a plethora of different musicians singing “Stand By Me,” from all over the world. I haven’t been touched by a more remarkable outpouring of humane and human spirit in a long, long time.
If you didn’t catch the show, you can watch a podcast here. Or link to the blog, or go to Mark Johnson’s website and listen to some of the remarkable music. And listen to the story.
It will put a crappy week in perspective.
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Great video. Where will it be shown again? Is it available for purchase?
GB
I’m sorry you’re going through so much heartache.
Best wishes.
I am truly sorry about your mother and grandmother. My thoughts are with you all.
I also saw this segment, and have watched it several times on line scene, keeping a tissue box close at hand.
this is great and all, but what we really need is God. He is the one who helps me through my problems. without him i would have given up years ago. you will be in my prayers today. God loves you.
i love you. and i know so much of this by heart, or at least as translated from my own space. let me know if you need anything.
Oh, Deb. Hugs to you. You are one of the most feeling souls, a big tender heart you have. I’m sending you smiles, a shoulder rub, soup, and a day on the trails. Free, on me.
To think that while I was upset you sent me love and never said a word about your own worries……for me that sums you up: you are a lovely, lovely person, Deb, it shines through everything you do. If you want to talk, I’m here. I’m so, so sorry. Stuff like this is so very hard.
GB: I’m not sure. I hope it comes out on the big screen. I’ll keep looking.
Deirdre: Thanks for stopping by, and your kindness. It means a lot, it does.
Dana: Thanks for your thoughts. I realized this week I hold back about the context of my life with some of my online friends, and that it is not fair to any of us. (Not that I will be doing too many confessions. Can’t make that much of a sea change.)
Jason: I am glad you have such sustaining faith and the kindness to share it.
Carolee: One of the most complex realizations I’ve had is how close we all are in so many experiences, and that we are not completely alone in our aloneness. I don’t believe in God (sorry, Jason), but I do believe in friends. Big hugs back.
Christine: You know just what I need. :-) Thanks for your kindness, your support, your love.
Jo: Oh, Jo, please don’t worry about that. It takes me a bit to express myself; I really war internally about which side of me, intellect or feeling, will take the mouthpiece. Integration, even at such a “mature” age, is my personal challenge.
How overwhelming! That is crappy indeed. Good thoughts your way.
hugs, sideways or otherwise to you from me! this is a lot to deal with all at once. be sure to take care of yourself, especially when you’re trying to take care of others! read a favorite poetry book, eat some bad food, whatever it takes. i really, really hope this coming week turns around for you!
Well, confessions are overrated. (Except on Tuesdays.) You need to share only what you can when you can — when you are comfortable. Nobody else can determine your comfort level or what and how to share what you share. This kind of stuff is all so personal and so difficult that there’s no “right” way to talk about it. Or not talk about it.
Don’t apologize to me about not believing in God, but I hope for the sake of your eternal soul(which I do believe you have) that you have come to this conviction through non-biased search of all the facts. I wouldn’t blindly believe in anything. So, please know with conviction that you are correct.
If I may direct your attention http://www.answersingenesis.org/home/area/qa.asp
or http://www.icr.org/
playing for change/peace through music is a wonderful and well put together video is it fof sale and where can i purchase it.
Sorry about your grandmother and your mother.
*Hugs to you!*