New flesh for this skeleton
The sparkle will drip on the new snow.
It was gathered on clouds, a silent choir,
that only meant to sweep in shallow circles
granting to broken brooms, not shovels:
The error of gardening. But that crisp is here,
a sliver of moons’ last weeping. If truth be
not disclosed, longing will flee to lay broken
on top of crags and, mourning, tastes
of sweet meats will be bitter. Not to know
Other, to stay hidden inside mystery,
and to conceal from ourselves.
* * *
This is the original skeleton poem, from Dana at My Gorgeous Somewhere. She says it’s a speech. My own remaking of it is an attempt to put new flesh on the skeleton, hence the title. I hoped to evoke the need to be able to be true to self, to love. To love and marry whoever you wish. It’s a bit obscure!
It’s harder to do skeleton poems than I ever think it will be. Give it a whirl; I dare you. This one is for the OTHER mother, where a carnival for Freedom to Marry is underway. (If you use the skeleton, leave a link for Dana.)
The _____ will ____ ____ the _____ ______
____ was _______ on _________, a ________ ____.
That ___ _______ __ _____ in ____ _____
______ to _____, _______ ___ ________, the _______
of _________. But that _____ is ____
a _______ of ______ __ ____. If _____ ____
not _________, _____ will ____ to be _______
on ___ ___ __________ and, ______________, ________
of ________ _____ will be ____. ____ ____ ________
_________ to _____ __________ ______ ___________,
and ____ __________ from ___________.
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*deafening applause*
I sat down with this little sucker thinking “How difficult can it be to fill in the blanks?”
He he he.
Half an hour later, I gave up in frustration thinking it would be easier to write a poem from scratch.
So much more difficult than it looks.
(And a good exercise, Dana!)
Oh, you do know how to make a poet feel better! :-)
I adore writing excersizes like this!! Thank you! Great post!
Thanks, CJ, for the visit and the nice comment. :-} I shall be by to visit!
Hey, your link on the other mother sent me to a 404 thingy.
It’s neat to read this, because I can hear your voice now, and the rhythms you would place on the words, and even though the poem is sumptuous on its own, that aspect makes me love the hills and dales of the piece even more. You did a great job with the skeleton, and it is hard, isn’t it?
Hey, thanks for the link news. I went to the other mother and added a “good one.”
And thanks for the great complements. Yes! These *are* hard. It’s cool that you can hear more, knowing me & my voice.
Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice. So very different from the source text, too.