As Black as a Bird Flying Out of the Window
Teasing sparrows gather tight bits of sticks, then crest
to loft over hedges formed by soggy mud flows.
Their beaks ferret out fresh meat then make a new nest
as black as a bird flying out of the window.
To loft over hedges formed by soggy mud flows
they avoid asphalt paths, trap gold mites unless –
as black as a bird flying out of the window –
can grasp baked breads stolen lightly, but won’t confess.
They avoid asphalt paths, trapping gold mites unless
sugar skies call them to roost. Covering mud flows
can grasp baked breads stolen lightly, but won’t confess
to gleaning dandelion seeds through this window.
Teasing sparrows gather tight bits of sticks, then crest.
Their beaks ferret out fresh treats. Here’s to their new nest.
* * *
This is a little pantoum using Christine’s offered line, with an added “of” because I wanted an even-footed line for the formal form. (Not that I was able to manage meter, but the lines are all 12-beats long.) Of course, I pretty much suck at writing formal poetry, so maybe it wasn’t (any of “it”) needed, especially since I try to get rid of “of’s” not add them in!
Ah, well, it’s my last try for NaPoWriMo, officially. It’s still a big poetry day, because I have an IRL poetry group tonight and stashed a poem in my pocket to carry close all day (one a very dear person wrote me for my birthday last year, which happened to be 2008’s Poem-in-Your-Pocket Day).
Find other NaPoWriMo poems, here. At Read Write Poem.
* * *
I’ll be around to read you over the course of the next few days and weeks. Congratualtions to all who attempted NaPoWriMo, no matter how many poems you wrote, there are new ones in the world! Yay, poetry.
Related posts:
the pantoum is the only form i’ve ever been able to follow. maybe it’s because i like it. or maybe i like it b/c i’m able to do it. :) which came first? the chicken or the egg?
i really like “but won’t confess.”
good job writing every day!!!
I like the rhythm and crisp images here. It inspires me to try a pantoum in the near future.
Funny, I also wrote a bird poem in which I focused on beats and meter today.
I like this. A lot. I haven’t seen this form before and after reading a little about it, I really like what you did with it. It spirals nicely and the couplet at the end is a nice touch.
Congrats on finishing NaPoWriMo.
I love that you’ve written a sparrow poem..you did it so well within the confines of the form you’ve chosen.
Thanks for using my line! It really isn’t even “my” line, because I wrote it in response to the other lines from the last prompt for April.
You are such a loving observer of the rhythms of nature, Deb, and it really shows in the flow of your words, the tender details of the lives of birds. You make me want to be a bird in this poem. And a pantoum, a real pantoum! Congrats, that’s a great finale.
Deb, I love this form. And I love what you’ve done with it. Christine is right about your observations of nature. I am urban to my core. I admire how you find inspiration in the natural world. Through you, I experience an intimacy I would not know otherwise.
I really like this poem! And what a job you did with meter AND form! Wow! There is a lot of moevement in this poem, I think the form must add to that, moving the lines around like the birds are moving around…
[...] * * Reprise of an April madness poem, the last day [...]