Sometimes I Miss the Old Jealous Goddesses
Your cold force
whistles…….through frothy
cracks and if I had one
…….one of those infrared-reading
gadgets…….all the seams
would glow
hot
like an enthusiast…….such as
Hercules…….hiding his children
from fertile madness
Questions of fidelity
render fat
from stones…….raised
in a complicated family
no simple begats from began
blunt those…….elites
who wonder is it nurture
or nature…….shouldered…….between
strong thighs the size of earnest
temple columns…….and frozen deities
Take the brunt of heredity…….please
smudge.the edges…….of this still life
a caesura reveals more about how
relationships cast shadows
than progeny set…….in sundered limbs
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A Read Write Wordle prompted this poem, using the words:
brunt, drawing, elite, fertile, froth, enthusiast, Hercules, question, shoulder, simple, stones, sundered, and thigh. I do believe I used them all, glutton I am.
Want to see how many poems can be created from one or thirteen of these words? (You’ll be amazed.) Go here.
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A “complicated family” there are “no simple begats” – how true! I love the fragmented, unpunctuated (made that word up) feel of this poem! And I’m impressed that you used all the words – and more than once!
Thanks for reading, Erica. “sundered” rendered “begats” and the poem sort of spun out from there, with Hercules of course (and Hera, off stage).
I love how this poem uses gaps, spaces, indents, & stanza breaks to demonstrate the truth of infidelity, the truth of this unforgettable assertion:
a caesura reveals more about how
relationships cast shadows
This poem is sundered in many ways, but still hangs together admirably!
Thank you, Therese. I haven’t used gaps, spaces and indents in place of punctuation in a long time. It seemed right with the poem.
I really like the title and how you get at it so obliquely, but intimately, addressing them as “you” and then shifting around in both mythical and contemporary scenes and idiom. I really like the mysterious feel of the last verse.
Thanks, David. I’m glad you like the title and understood what I was trying to do (probably better than I did myself).
I wanted to go more into Hera, but didn’t want the poem to turn into a “Hera poem.”
I thought the sounds carried through the poem so well and the caesuras which you used to cast shadows…and sundered limbs made one tremble.
Thank you, Irene. I try working sound, so am glad you heard some.
The title is interesting.This poem is quite profound.I’ve read it several times and cast my own interpretation over it which may well be your meaning. I like your point about the brunt of heredity
and the progeny set in sundered limbs .I don’t miss my old jealous goddesses at all!
I’m glad you think the poem is profound. Wow.
And I am glad you cast your own interpretation about it. That’s what I want my poems to do. Even while this is a draft, I always think my poems belong to the reader as soon as they read them.
I guess what I miss about the goddesses is their clear agenda, even if it was trickery — it was usually easy to figure out motive and emotion. :-)
very good, Deb! Truly love the idea you came up with, and of course the whole thing being a metaphor for our own beginnings…
Really like the line “render fat from stone” also. Intriguing.
I like that line, too. And I have no idea where it came from. :-) Well. I like the word render in its old-fashioned use, which was to cook something down to get at the fat.
This is so rich with imagery and meaning, I find new ways to interpret it every time I read through. Love the image of rendering fat from stones.
Makes me happy you get new ways to read it, Liz. (And delighted you want to read it more than once.)
I have read this several times to work my way through the turmoils of the ancients. Their cold, calculating, wanton capriciousness; the original disfunctional family! Like others, I was struck by the line
“render fat
from stones”.
It’s interesting, how you used the caesuras in this poem. On the page, they almost give a kind of disconnected feeling, but I wonder how they would sound it the poem is read out loud. The disconnection, in a weird way, puts me in mind of Zeus going from lover to lover — and Hera always finding out when it’s too late.
I’d have to say that my favourite image is “shouldered…….between/strong thighs the size of earnest/temple columns”.
Well done.
-Nicole
This line was absolute perfection to me:
“Questions of fidelity
render fat
from stones”
The imagery was quite marvelous in the entire piece – it conjured up a daydream of a howling winter wind telling ancient mysteries to a crumbling, abandoned cottage in some snow-covered wood.
Your title is delightful – sometimes I miss the old jealous goddesses, too! :)
A delightful schussh! Lively and lithe!
This is one of the finest titles I’ve read in ages, Deb. Here’s to many more inspiring prompts this year x
This is excellent, the whole thing cascades like a waterfall. You’re right about the breaks working well as a replacement for punctuation… the bit about the caesura is my favorite. :)
You all are so kind. I am behind in my reading, but will get to it soon!!
Thanks for “friending me” on RWP. It allowed me to find your words. I particularly liked:
“strong thighs the size of earnest
temple columns”
Sexy use of personifying imagery.
Thanks, Vic. I’ve been remiss in my follow-ups, but appreciate you stopping by!