Stoney Moss

dabble and whatnot, mostly poetry

Behold Our Dark, Magnificent Horror

Behold Our Dark, Magnificent Horror

title of Mark Morford’s SF Gate column from June, 2010

Bottles line my bath & shelves.
They contain no threat of bodily harm
only youthful glow & hair: promised charm
behind unleashed productive wells.

Potions grant relief from bodily harm,
remake degenerate cells & turn back time.
Profit from released provocative wells
to  soften greased palms in fleece-lined pockets.

Would I unmask wrinkles to turn back time,
live without luxuries in my easy modern life,
add measure to capitalists’ deep pockets?
The  face in the mirror is mine: yours &  mine.

* * *
A pantoum, meant to focus anger, to use anger as a tool —  but this poem is not very angry. The plastic & potions are meant to tie my daily petroleum consumption to more than just fuel. I think this could benefit from going further. But this is all I have, right now.

I can’t watch footage of the Gulf disaster — can’t think of the cruel deaths easily seen, or the consequences that won’t be known for years. The oil industry’s Chernobyl. I think that’s right. And I am culpable in that disaster.

I borrowed a couple of lines/phrases for this poem, in addition to the title: “unleashed productive wells” (from Morford) and “they contain no threat of bodily harm” from an email conversation with Carolee on a completely unrelated topic.

Here’s the Big Tent Poetry prompt. Here’s where to go to find what other poets did with it.

* * *

(I just noticed this is Stoney Moss’ 1,000 post. )

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36 Comments

  1. Well done (no pun intended). You’re right; it’s important to remember that it’s not just fuel but those plastics too and that we’re all of us hooked on petroleum. You did a nice job bringing that home and facing it.

    I can’t look at the pictures either. I did and couldn’t write for days without ranting. Your prompt gave me a way to do it. Thanks.

    Congrats of your 1000th post.

  2. i like the flow of this…wrapping around our vanity and consumerism….ouch!!… and contained in a pantoum… these are wonderful forms to use for emotional expression… hey, best to you on 1k post…. stirred up

  3. It often takes such tragedies to make us realise how, in our vanity, we take things so much for granted.

    • I think it might be safe to say “always.” It always take tragedy. Unless one’s quite devoted and practiced with meditation or other such devices.

  4. I like the way you moved consumerism away from transportation and into the reality of smaller unnecessary items. Congratulations on 1000!

  5. Deb, I once was married to a man who opened my eyes to my consumerism — not only how much I purchased, but what I purchased. I went through a period of my life where I was mortified at what I had been using and using on my daughter. It’s a horrid feeling, and one that made me feel both stupid and angry.

    No need to feel remorse…we cannot possibly know everything, and sometimes it takes something dramatic to open our eyes. And, you may feel a relief at opting out of the “American Dream,” which is a bill of goods sold to us by corporate endeavors (in my humble opinion).

    I think you’re spot on here. I’d like to see more anger, but you’ll get there. Trust me. This isn’t over.

    • Based on thoughts I’ve had for years, no – it isn’t over. And toiletries are just the tip of the iceberg.

      Thanks for reading, for being here.

  6. I can see anger simmering here – ‘add measure to capitalists’ deep pockets?’ Love your pantoum Deb.

  7. The anger is there — I can see it, too. thanks for pointing out, too, that we’re all responsible for this mess, that we all have oil on our hands.

    (and thanks, too, for this prompt and all the time & effort you guys are putting into the big tent. it’s rocking!)

    • Thank you! So glad to see you at the Big Tent.

      “Oil on our hands” would be another good line in a poem about this horror.

  8. Deb, Your heart is in the right place, exploring your own consumption. I’m with you as far as images of the Gulf disaster go, I find myself turning away from the TV news, while my family watches.

    I’m thinking of all the “gunk” of my life from the perspective of your poem now. Thank you for opening my eyes a bit wider.

  9. This poem coveys sadness and guilt very well. I like where your thought processes took this…a unique handling of this horrible disaster. ( I am at the point of actually feeling sick to my stomache whenever I hear anything about the oil spill.)

    • I’m with you on the stomach ache. I simply can’t bear it. I think this is the last tremblings of Gulf life.

  10. Deb this is a real eye opener. I know we do not think about how our consumption has affected things. I also cannot watch the pictures of the gulf it is just too heartbreaking for me. Excellent post!
    Pamela

  11. How I love that first stanza, for its innocence and its rhyme! I’m rather old fashioned when it comes to rhyme and would love to see that carried through the rest of the poem. There are also great lines in this; the two you borrowed and “Would I unmask wrinkles to turn back time” plus the face in the mirror!

    • I wanted to go back and rewrite this immediately, Derrick. (As in “I agree!”) I’d like it to be completely formal with both meter and rhyme. It will take more skill than I think I have. But would be a good thing to undertake.

  12. congrats on your thousandth post. i think we can all be held culpable for the oil spill disaster in one way or another. and, it’s true we won’t know what damages we truly face for years. i think your pantoum is great. maybe, if you’re not satisfied with it, you can revisit it at another time to see what you can add or subtract.

    have a great weekend.

  13. so glad you were able to use the line! and the ending is perfect.

  14. This really gets to the heart of the problem. Our way of living is so dependent on petroleum, and that’s what precipitated the gulf spill.

  15. I love the ironic title Deb. I think your pantoum is an interesting angle to the oil spill, the consumerism, but aren’t we all so girly we can’t help too much toiletries? We used to use bars of soap to the last drop and now we use pumps for shower foams and creams to preserve our skin. Too much packaging. Meanwhile, everyday there’s a deep well that keeps spewing oil in the gulf and smothering fish and sea creatures.

  16. Brilliant pantoum, Deb. The ending of lines that repeat in the next stanza but turning in a different direction. I read, and re-read, fascinated by the twists and turns of phrase and meaning. You are exploring the language of repetition, its metres and rhythms in exciting and original ways.

    What I am stuck with in the content is that you have brought this tragedy into the most personal place for each of us, our bathrooms, and our cleansing lotions and anti-aging creams, and the mirror to see ourselves in.

    This is a powerful portrait of our most intimate products and their reliance on crude oil and from this portait, oh there are so many paintings that come to mind, Bonnard, Degas, an understanding of our own complicity.

    We see ourselves in the mirror you are holding so gently, with firmness, before us.

    I think, for me, if you continue to work on this poem, and it is well worth it, pouring a scented oil into the bath… is, oh maybe pushing it, but the ocean, the water, the plumes and slicks of oil, how we can watch this in our own hot tubs…

    Or not, this poem is amazing just as it is.

    • Oh, Brenda — what a terrific idea to follow. The poem was seeming maudlin to me, but I may revisit it and see what might come of it after all.

      Would we that option with the awful mess we’ve made of it all.

      • After I wrote that I came across an interesting article that I saved to Evernote (the Globe tends to monetize articles, even Associated Press ones, after a week) but don’t know how to share from there. It’s here: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/technology/science/cutting-your-personal-dependence-on-oil-easier-said-than-done/article1600680/. It seemed, with your poem fresh in my mind, nearly research for it! If you find some of the discussion there interesting, or inspiring, do paste it out, though.

        Where you’ve taken not just the pantoum form (and I realize Ashberry also played in a Gertrude Stein way with shifting grammatical emphasis on the same words in the pantoum but you began to develop that further I felt), but bringing the oil spill into the domestic, intimate self in the bathroom to tuggle with who the self is, is brilliant.

        • Wow. That article is fantastic. Thanks for the link. I’ll make sure I grab it while it is available.

          Thank you again for your close reading and encouragement. Means a lot, it does. You do. xxoo

  17. “The plastic & potions are meant to tie my daily petroleum consumption to more than just fuel. I think this could benefit from going further.”

    I totally got that — and it’s something I hadn’t really thought about yet during this whole crisis — certainly not before. Thank you.